Sticker Shock

The 4th of July is over. Independence Day is usually filled with a lot of noise after twilight, but this year, it was very quiet due to the almost total ban on fireworks sale.  We have been experiencing severe drought in Texas, and as a result, the only fireworks allowed were the big public displays.  Texans are pyromaniacs, and there are huge warehouse stores all over that only open for about 20 days out of the year (10 days before the 4th of July and before New Year's Eve).  This year, all they were allowed to sell were small  fireworks that don't shoot up.  I'm sure the businesses were hurting pretty bad. We passed by one such store yesterday afternoon, and there were absolutely no cars in the parking lot although they had an "open" sign.  I guess this is what you get when you put all your eggs in one basket. . .  But I digress.

On Saturday, my son wanted to go browse in a sporting goods store, so I took him to a big box store that moved into a bigger building recently.  I had not been in a retail establishment other than grocery stores in a long, long time, and boy did I get a dose of sticker shock!  $24.99 for an Under Armor shirt? Good grief!  WHO pays that kind of money?  But you know what? The store was PACKED. I could not believe how full the parking lot was.  You would think it was the week before Christmas! 

I realized how much my values had changed since I was younger, when I thought nothing of buying things even if they were not marked down one bit.   I can't imagine paying that kind of money for one lousy shirt!  Then I was looking around children's clothing, and it was not much better. A toddler T-shirt was $16.99!  Can you imagine how much clothing you could buy at a thrift store for that amount, even though they too have been raising prices?  Insanity, I tell you!

I realise the economy needs consumers to purchase things to keep the economic engine going, but my days of paying full price for anything is over.  I'll leave that to those people who has not seen the light of being frugal. . .

Why I Haven't Been Posting

Life intervenes. . . Our home life has been very unpleasant lately as my 15 year old son has been acting really very crappy. Our sons get treated a hell of a lot better than my husband and I ever were when we were their ages. But the self-centered teenager that he is, he refuses to listen and understand.  My husband and I have been living through hell dealing with his ugly moods, and life just has been miserable, to say the least.

I was born without a father. He left the scene before I was born.  Back when I was young, the term used was "illegitimate."  Nowadays, one has a single mom or dad, and as a result we are left guessing the circumstances of a person's birth.  My mom hooked up with an Australian man when I was 2, and he is the one who raised me. He died when I was 14 and my mother had to scramble financially as we were not provided for in death.  Fortunately, she had previously gone to secretarial school and was able to find a job before we were in a financial bind.  Growing up, I was responsible for preparing dinners for her after I got home from school.  I don't remember ever getting an allowance, and I was careful about what I asked her by way of money because I knew we were just making ends meet.

But I was fortunate that my "father" had left just enough money in my mom's bank account for me to finish schooling at a very exclusive private school in Japan.  She then paid for one semester of college.  After that, I managed to work my way through the rest of college and paid the rest of my private tuition myself.  Thank God for the fact that I spoke English and was able to work as a conversational English teacher.  I had a pretty cushy job working 4 hours every evening until 9 p.m. after classes.  I made enough money to pay for my tuition and then some.  I did miss out on the social scene on campus, but I still had friends from high school living in Tokyo, so I managed some fun times in between classes and work.

My husband had it harder. He was one of five children from a working class family.  His dad was very tough on the boys because he was working graveyard shifts to get the family fed.  Long story short, my husband moved out when he was 14 and never went back home.  He worked full time and continued attending high school until about a month before graduation when he had just had enough.  He joined the military and got his GED. He did 5 years in the Navy and then worked his tail off to get a 4 year college degree in two years.  He was hired by the government after that and we met shortly thereafter.  Not satisfied, he went on to get a Master's Degree when our younger son was just born.  He is now the boss of his office here in Houston.

We don't dwell on these facts, but we do mention them once in a while when we get really frustrated with either of our sons.  Although we have tried hard not to spoil them and to keep things in perspective, the fact of the matter is that they ARE spoiled rotten.  They don't even know it, and they think we are not generous enough as are the parents of their friends.  At the stage of life they are in, "generosity" equals "love," and in their minds, we don't love them enough.  So what to do?

We are not going to change the way we treat them.  We expect them to do certain things and act in a respectful manner.  In return, they get to do what they want, within reason.  I guess the sticking point is the "within reason" part.  Our younger son in particular thinks our definition of "within reason" is not acceptable.  The latest spat had to do with us not allowing him to go on a week long trip with his girlfriend's family.  We said it was not "appropriate," and he refused to accept that as a reason.  Call us old fashioned, but he is only 15 and there are certain things a responsible parent just does not allow one's child to do. This is one of them.  Our older one has wised up, and for the most part, is respectful and does what we ask him to do.  In return, he gets to hang out with his friends more than we used to let him, because after all, this is his last "free" summer before he graduates.

Honestly, I never thought I would say this, but I can't wait until they are old enough to move out. There's been too much drama lately.  I miss the days when they were very small and they were so fun to be around. . .

The Only Thing Free Is The Air We Breathe

Isn't it sad when you REALLY think about it? That nothing is free except for the air we breathe to live? We live in a society where we MUST consume, meaning it costs money to do ANYTHING. We are all struggling financially because the economy is so bad and the cost of everything is going through the roof.  We are paying for the really bad decisions the government and the politicians within made over the course of decades.  Unless one is homeless and has absolutely nothing, we have to pay for taxes, food, water, transportation, heat, housing, etc., etc.  It is really frustrating that even if you own your home free and clear, we must still pay property taxes (at least here in the US) to the local government year after year for the pleasure of owning your home.  If you fail to pay, they can come after you with the force of government might and eventually force you out of your home.  What kind of CRAP is that?

True, you can minimize your outgoing expenses by cutting back, buying used or accepting hand-me-downs, growing your own food and/or foraging for it, but one must still spend money somewhere.  Just imagine how much extra money you will have toward your retirement, vacation fund, house fund, or whatever else your heart desires if the government was not so greedy.  Every year, Tax Freedom Day comes later and later (April 12 for 2011), and what do we really have to show for it?  Zip, zero, nada.  It is estimated that every American "owes" approximately a $200,000 share of the national debt as it stands today.  I just read in the news that a brand new high school in California built at the cost of $105 million to the local tax payers cannot open because the school district has no funds to pay for the new teachers and administrators to open the school.  Is is insanity.  WHEN is it going to end?

Random Thoughts

Well, it really sucks when you get used to doing something, and then can't. Still no luck with the Blogger app for my phone, so I guess it's back to getting the photos off of my camera.  I just hate that extra step I have to take. . .

The vegetable garden is really taking off, and I made some home made marinara sauce with the bumper crop of tomatoes the other day.  Just chopped tomatoes, a splash of balsamic vinegar and a teaspoon of sugar and I let that cook up until the tomatoes started to fall apart.  I then put that through a food mill to get the skin and most of the seeds out and simmered the remaining liquid until it had reduced by about a third. Salted to taste, and it was really, REALLY good.  My husband commented how the taste does not compare to store bought spaghetti sauce.  The only downside was that I did not have enough to can, so next time, I will wait until I have a large stash in the freezer.  I had been reading up on tomatoes in my copy of The Encyclopedia of Country Living, and I saw that you can freeze whole tomatoes until you have enough to make a big batch. I will give that a try.

I got dinner going rather late yesterday as I had a migraine for much of the day.  I saved dinner by cooking a whole chicken (purchased for $2.50 when on sale) in my pressure cooker with a splash of lemon juice, several dashes of dried minced garlic, pepper, some Montreal Steak Seasoning and a bit of soy sauce.  Cooked that under pressure for about 30 minutes while I chopped up several zucchini from the garden and pan fried that with garlic powder, salt and pepper and some Italian seasoning.  The chicken was falling off the bone at the end of cooking.  My husband is on a low/no carb diet now, so that's all he had.  The boys ate it along with some leftover mashed potatoes from the other night. So the total outlay for dinner was only $2.50!

I realized yet again that I need to utilize my pressure cooker more often.  It makes tough cuts of meat tender AND cooks it faster than conventional cooking. If I remember to do that, it will help reduce our electric bill.  Our house is all electric, so it adds up after a while.  Need to find more recipes. . .

The food mill was a splurge item for me a while back.  I had been coveting one for a LOOOOONG time.  I had a $50 gift card from Williams Sonoma, but the All Clad mill I wanted was over $100.  That's more expensive than any of the pots and pans I own. Do I get it or a cheaper model that was mostly plastic?  I decided to go for quality because I knew I would be using it a whole bunch once I had enough tomatoes to can the surplus.  Though I still cringe when I think of the cost, I have not regretted the purchase. It is a joy to use, and has 3 interchangeable disks. I made some vegetable cream soup with it when I first got it, and it was so velvety smooth without the addition of cream.  My husband taught me that if you need a tool, one should always go for the best you can afford so you don't have to replace the item over and over.  In the long run, it's frugal.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

If It's Not NEW, It's EWWW!

For other people, perhaps, but not me. (A shout out to the Thrifty Chicks blog, where I lifted the above phrase.)  I've been loving to thrift shop ever since I discovered them.  My only regret was not discovering them earlier than I did.  I shudder to think about how much money I wasted shopping retail in my youth.  By the time my first son was born, I wised up.  Most of his baby clothes and through his toddler years to about five were all purchaed at thrift stores.  Beyond that, boys are so tough on clothes, especially pants, that I had to resort to retail sales items.  But I figure I saved a small fortune regardless.

But most mothers are not like me.  They want the best for their progeny, and will spare no funds.  If it's not new, it's ewww!  Seriously.  Even my late mother-in-law, God rest her soul, looked upon me with disapproval when we let it slip that her grandsons were dressed in second hand clothes from the thrift stores.  You see, she was a product of the Depression Era and lived through some hard times in her youth.  It did not matter that her father was one of the very few who never got laid off because he was a deputy sheriff and a big wig in the small town where she grew up.  Anything that was previously used, to her, was garbage. 

In her mind, even true, honest to goodness antique furniture that a well-to-do person would willingly pay thousands, if not tens of thousands for at auction at Christie's or Sotheby's was rubbish.  So she just never understood why we would pay several hundred dollars to buy a piece of antique furniture, because it was somebody's cast off any way she looked at it, regardless of the fine craftsmanship you just cannot get in brand new furniture.  When we told her it was part investment, since we knew when time came for us to sell the antique, we could probably recoup the purchase cost, she just shook her head as if she thought we were crazy.  She was content to buy a cheaply made set of furniture from Sam's Club that was "Made in China."

On a grander scale, this was the case in McAllen, Texas, in the Rio Grande Valley where my younger son was born and where we lived for two years.  Now, this is a part of Texas that is very poor and where there is a very high percentage of people living in the lowest of low socio-economic level.  Yet, there was a building boom the whole time we lived there, and from what I understand, nothing has changed in the 15 or so years since we lived there.  In McAllen and the nearby suburbs, big, brand new single story houses with soaring ceilings were all the rage.  And the operative word was "NEW."  The market was so strange in that previously occupied houses had a hard time selling compared to new construction. People wanted houses that no hands had touched except those of the workmen that built it. 

The weirdest part of the whole equation was that McAllen and the entire Rio Grande Valley had no major industry except for citrus and other agriculture, but nothing you could get really rich off of.  That is, except for the underground "industry" of dope smuggling across the Mexico border.  McAllen just did not have enough jobs to justify all of the nonstop construction.  So did that mean that the neighbor next door was involved in the "industry" somehow?  I never found out.  Rumor had it that a high school in Starr County near McAllen received an anonymous cash donation to build a school gymnasium upon the condition that it had to be built in the shape of a marijuana leaf, and it was.  But I digress.

The point I was trying to make is that "used" is not a bad thing. Not at all.  In fact, even my mother-in-law knew that, though she didn't realize it.  She left her diamond rings to her granddaughters in her will.  If "used" was truly that bad, she wouldn't have, right? 

; )

Children are not Frugal

These are trying times. . . I have one son (17) on the verge of manhood. Yet, he starts CRAP with the younger one (15), who is going through some tough times, hormonally speaking.  Sometimes (often), I wonder why on earth my husband and I wanted kids in the first place.  Ever get that feeling?  But as with my younger son right now, hormones does a crazy number to yourself and your sanity, or lack thereof. I know way back when, when I was praying for children, it was the ticking time bomb doing all the thinking and feeling.  Had my hormones been under control, I wonder if I would have had kids?  Probably not.

But I guess that's how nature intended it.  If it weren't for the unexplainable urge to procreate the next generation, would humanity even exist?  Of course not!  I remember when I was pregnant with the first one, and I was scheduled for a C-section, the doctor asked me if I wanted to have my tubes tied because it would only have taken a couple of extra minutes of his time.  Did I say, "yes"? Of course not!  In the last stages of pregnancy, one is still not sane, because you are way deep in the midst of "procreate and nurture" mode.  What sort of question is THAT? "Do you want to sterilize yourself?" Sheesh!  Insanity, I tell ya!  Insanity on my part, that is.

Instead, we had two kids.  Private schools, sport activities, birthday parties, etc., etc.  If we did not have kids, my husband and I would be filthy rich by now! Just imagine the ROI on the money we could have invested in the stock market! We would be millionaires many times over!  <sigh>  But like most people, we're not.  And that's OK.  We're OK with the fact that our retirement will not be as rich and varied as Donald Trump's or Warren Buffet's will likely be.  As long as the boys grow up into men who care for each other and will be there for the other if one of them is hurting or is in trouble after we are gone.  I know time will change and improve things between them.  I have no doubt.

BUT.  If you are still childless and mulling the concept of procreating, think long and hard.  Run for the hills!  Children are not frugal.  No, not at all.

Thank You

Today is my birthday. Feeling a bit under the weather, but the family is taking me out to dinner later.  I am at a age when, if my husband and I want to get something and we can afford it, we generally will, though we will always try to find whatever we want used before we fork over our hard earned money to buy it new.

So, no presents this year. My husband more than made up for it last year when he surprised me with a very expensive set of kitchen knives that I was too cheap to buy for myself.  I use it with a lot of gratitude every day when I cook.

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank those of you who bother to read this blog. I now officially have 9 "Followers," but I was surprised to learn today (when I finally figured out how) that my blog has had over 1000 page views since its inception.  Whether you are an official follower or not, "Thank you" from the bottom of my heart.  I was doing this for myself mostly, as an online diary of what I've been up to.  I was pleasantly surprised that I had not been talking to myself.

I think those of us who take the initial step to start a blog have a frustrated writer in us wanting to emerge out of the shadows.  I know I had an inkling to write a novel that I've been nursing in my heart for years, but where to start?  At least this is the first step.  Don't know if I'll ever have the time or will power to actually write that book, but I thank you all for bothering to read my rambling thoughts.  And you know what? Starting a blog doesn't cost a penny, so it goes right along with the frugal theme.  :)

Here's to hoping that this next year in my life and yours will be evermore frugal and joyous.

xoxo